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I suppose I can sit around and wonder what next?  Or I can simply let the chips fall where they may. What I have learned in the last 6 months is that what happens - happens. How you deal with the consequences is what matters. Today Mom broke her leg. I was with her when it happened and I feel badly that I couldn’t prevent it from happening. I couldn’t hold her up and stop the fall. I couldn’t keep her from feeling the pain that she was undoubtedly in. Knowing now what I know now about her injury, the reliving of the sight of the paramedics lifting her on the gurny is especially painful to remember. I was proud of her for enduring the pain at the time but it was clear that I didn’t know to what extent she was suffering. Still. As I watched the ambulence pull away, I couldn’t help but think that this was a blessing in disguise. Mom’s health has been declining quickly. Most of us have felt powerless in helping her.

Tonight I was left home with Jeff’s kids, Matt and Michaela to hold down the fort. Several of Jeff’s kids wondered why Nana just didn’t go to the doctor when all of this started. Good question. So, I explained to them that as you get older, your pride tends to cloud your common sense. To them it was simple. You hurt. You see a doctor. But things get in the way…we get older, usually bigger and we let ourselves go. And then we usually face the inevitable lectures about diet, exercise and following doctor’s orders. Who wants to live like that? Not always fun but again, consequences follow our decisions. And usually we are unaware that what we THINK are our decisions to make have an effect on other people besides ourselves. What drives us to make poor choices anyway? Ignorance? Stupidity? Selfishness? It’s probably a combination of the 3 but leading the pack is pride. Nobody wants to admit to a foolish choice but unfortunately, we make them - ALL the time. That’s why it’s time like this that I am so thankful for the support of family. Foolish choices led me to where I am today - widowed and a single mom. Some of these choices were mine and some were not. But all of them resulted in this new life I am leading. Couldn’t Mom’s choice to ignore her ailments lead to such a severe consequence? I certainly hope not. But it’s a real possibility. I just hope that we put a stop to the pride in time. Sometimes it’s just better to suck it up and deal with what you’ve got going. Because a brief moment of discomfort and inconvenience is way better than a lifetime of regret.

The last week of school was always an exciting time for me. I remember how much fun it was to finally be winding down - to feel the warm breezes and to finally get the sense that my teacher(s) was finally relaxing and looking forward to summer vacation. Teachers do stress out sometimes and as a student it was hard to deal with because just growing up and dealing with day to day changes we were going through was hard enough. But that end of the year celebration was something that teachers and students had in common and for once we all kinda meshed. The final days were fun. In elementary school those last days were the best. We had field day and we competed with other classes and our teachers even got into the competitive spirit. I LOVED field day. Michaela will have her first ever field day on Thursday. The class needs volunteers to help out and I am sad that I won’t be able to help. I’d get a kick out of participating in Michaela’s first field day. But I know she’ll have loads of fun. I am excited for her.

Tomorrow is her final field trip of the year - a trip to Hogle Zoo. I am all about the field trips! So, I managed to get the day off and will accompany her and the class on their trip to the zoo. Field trips were also a great love of mine. Riding the school bus was a novelty for me because it was the only time I got to do it. I loved the excitement of all the kids and getting to leave the classroom for some “real” learning. Some of my favorite school memories were those field trips. One of my most favorite memories was going to the aquarium in Golden Gate park in San Francisco. My mom was a chaperone and when we took a break to have lunch, we ventured outside to dig into our sack lunches. Seagulls are plentiful in San Francisco and there were many flying over us that day. Just as my classmate, Amy Chelamedos was about to bite into her sandwich, she got pooped on - right on the hand that was holding the sandwich up to her mouth. She screamed and was complete horrified. And my mother let out a huge laugh. She couldn’t help it. It was hilarious to see a 9 year old get pooped on. I was a little mortified that Mom could be so callous but at the same time, she was right to laugh. Seagulls poopin’ on a kid is priceless. I wonder what wonderful animal antics we’ll see at the zoo tomorrow. The last time I went to Hogle Zoo was about a year or so ago. Mike, Michaela and I went. One of the zebras was “extra happy” if you know what I mean and Mike just had to have his picture taken with them in the background. Yeah. He was a little weird.

Anyway, I am looking forward to tomorrow. I’m kinda hoping that Mike “tags along”. I’ll be “looking for him” near those zebras or at least someplace near the monkeys for sure.

Good grief. Spam bots are working overtime these days. I just cleaned out my blog spam filter and it was full of the obvious filth that you would imagine would be there. Haven’t people got better things to do than program computers to do this stuff?

I got home from Kona almost 5 days ago. Tonight Dad asked me if I was still experiencing jet lag. I told him that I didn’t think so but I guess I must be. It’s midnight and yet here I am. I’ve been up late every night this week. It is, after all, only 8pm in the islands. Luckily tomorrow I don’t have to be up at 5 to get ready for work! Yay! 3 Day weekend here I come.